So I got incessant text messages the entire time I was home with my parents all worried about how I wasn't home yet, interspersed with the reminder that "rent is due today!!! :-)"
Gee, I see, since I'm the only one who can NOT spend my money and KEEP a job, I'm suddenly the support system for your little shopping habit. Seeing as how when I got home the kitchen was OVER stocked with food you'll now not let me touch regardless of the fact that you've been mooching off mine for the past three months, I'm assuming you found a willing parent to sponge off of in my absence.
Also, yes, idiots, in fact "I'm going to bed, I have to get up at 4 for work" DOES mean "Please move that large piece of furniture down the ridiculously narrow hallway right next to my room right now."
I'm almost sad that this idiocy won't follow me to DC.
Oh wait, no I'm not.
So lately it's been pretty quiet at Casa du Suck, but things heated up in the last day and... a half?
I figure I ought to introduce the characters before we get further into this drama:
People I Live With:
Possibly Pregnant And Broke Landlord or PPBL: Girl who owns the house I live in. She makes $60,000 dollars a year, which she'll tell you with no prompting, but she's always 'broke' because she never met a credit card she didn't like. She's also had two abortions at this point, and claims that she just isn't into that whole birth control pill thing because it might make her gain weight. So she uses condoms... or something.
Lesbian Housemate or LH: Little, Asian, worse at finding a job than I am... she lives down the hall and is generally not in the middle of things that drive me crazy.
The Chorus:
Babydaddy: The complete winner responsible for PPBL's last abortion. We suspected at the time that he had sabotaged the condom, as he's ridiculously needy and just really wants someone to love him unconditionally. Think of the pathetic teen mothers on Maury, just male, greasy, pierced, and unable to keep a job.
Girlpants: The self centered guy from some bad that PPBL knew in high school and decided to sleep with just out of spite... but then it turned into something more. Like more sex. And her being told to come out and do things for him at this bar he hangs out with with no kickbacks.
Politician Expensive Shoes or PES: Dude that PPBL met while on the phone at her job. Lives at least three hours away, and has enough money to enjoy giving expensive gifts. So PPBL's sleeping with him once in a while in exchange for spendy shoes and clothes. Kind of like Pretty Woman, except in Pretty Woman they came right out and called Julia Roberts a whore.
Sarah 1: Girl who LH used to date. Clingy, attempts frequently to be emotionally abusive, constantly drunk.
Sarah 2: Girl LH was interested in, who eventually decided that she was more interested in chasing the cock.
Janelle: Current love interest of LH. Mind you, I've lived here for four months.
And just to add to the joy? There's a used pregnancy test in the bathroom trash. I'm assuming it's not LH, and as I would have to be giving birth to the Christ child at this point, there's only one likely suspect. I'm not even fishing it out and seeing if it's positive.
dear DC.
I will not be paying your inane $250 for allegedly parking in a handicapped space, because as far as I'm concerned, if there's nothing clearly outlining that as a handicapped space, it's not. No, I'm sorry, having a sign half a mile down the block with a tiny arrow pointing back towards me and another well behind me pointing in the other direction do not serve to inform me that where I'm parking is a handicapped spot. Especially when it's metered parking and there was no indication of that on the meter.
Tell you what, you put decent signage up, and I'll pay your fee the next time I park illegally. Until then, screw you.
My two roommates (X and Y) and one of X's random boythings decided to paint the bathroom last night. On top of having only one can of mostly rotten paint, they also had two sponge rollers and a paint tray and a mess of masking tape.
They were only missing the common sense, as evidenced by the exchange in which I asked about taking the switchplates OFF instead of just masking them like whoa. Turns out that none of them realized switchplates came off the wall.
And let's not get into the whole fact that they don't seem to realize they've got 1/4 inch gaps of white between the baseboard and the green paint because they didn't have a brush to cut the corners in with.
These are the kind of people I keep finding. Welcome to my blog. It's full of wierd around here.
